AHH IT’S STARTING. I’M SO NERVOUS.

in case you’re wondering, I don’t do much these days, mostly just sitting and staring at walls.

I don’t know. Nothing seems worth it.

Finishing this glass of water, working out, and then going to bed. Tomorrow will suck, we’re having a big breakfast, and an even bigger dinner. I can get away with eating a bit of everything at breakfast, and I can get away without eating much for dinner, because I literally do not like a lot of Christmas foods. I don’t like Christmas cookies, Stuffing, this gross salad my aunt always brings, I also don’t like any sort of thing they scramble together for dessert. I just have to not eat everything that I like that’s in site.

bleh, merry christmas ~

Why am I so fucking disgusting. 

The worst part is, i’ll probably cut because I can’t feel anything. The pain, needs to flow. I need to feel. And cutting is the only way.

I ate wendy’s and mcdonalds, in the same weekend.

I’m trying not to hate myself, but i do do do,

now atleast, I should have said no, it’s like 2 in the morning

whywhywhy

oh well, i’m going to sleep. 

christmas break starts next weekend, two weeks, and i’m gonna look so great at the end of it. I’m going to shock everyone. it’s going to be fantastic.